Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
