At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
