it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
