My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
