i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
