If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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