p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
