Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
time to smoke my breakfast
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
