do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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