Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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