he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just found a bag of teeth...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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