my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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