having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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