She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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