the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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