How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
