Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
