a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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