Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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