The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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