What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
