:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
