i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
