Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
