Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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