you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
