please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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