do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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