i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Two words: nipple clamps
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