well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
