I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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