you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
