dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
