theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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