who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
