I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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