What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
