Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
