i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
