we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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