i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
