I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
