Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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