doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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