mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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