dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
