It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and she was petting her beer can
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
