erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
