I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
