I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
