Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
