my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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